6:47 PM on a Friday night, my power pack was hot, and I was ready to go.  It was too early for Cowboy’s to be any real fun.  I was about to go looking for something to occupy my brain for a couple of hours when I got the call.  I answered my own Smarter than Smart phone.


“Hello, Stone speaking,” I suggested.


“Stone huh?” the slightly familiar female voice said in an almost humorous tone.


“Yeah, so? speak to me bitch.” I was pretty sure no one involved in my business would use that tone with me.  So I risked being flip with her.


“I was wondering what your plans were for tonight?” the voice asked.


“Actually I was planning to go out looking for trouble, so who the hell are you?” I asked.


“It’s Edsel from Jennifer’s law firm,” she said. “Maybe I can save you a trip.”


“Ah, boobs on a stick,” I said it trying to be a little insulting.


The laughter from her end of the phone went on for several minutes.  “You know there is a story involved,” she said.


“I’m sure there is,” I replied.


“Buy me a beer and I’ll entertain you with all the gory details,” she informed me.


“Edsel, Jennifer and I have an understanding.  I don’t date her employees and she bails my skinny ass out of jail when I need it.  It has worked out so far.  I would like to keep her bailing my ass out of jail.”


“Okay, so if you are going out to look for trouble, where are you going to begin your hunt?” she asked.


“8pm at the Cop Out,” I said.  Now I need to go get dressed,


“Good enough,” Edsel said.


I figured Edsel would be very popular at the cop out and I could leave her in good hands.  Probably several sets of good hands.  I hadn’t taken pizza to the Cop Out in a while, so I got dressed slowly, then drove the ugly pick up to the Pizza and Pasta Pit.


At 7:30 and change I placed an order for three large pizzas, one plain, one hamburger/onion and one garbage can model, all to go.  Since I had to sit and wait, I checked my mail.  There were lots of BS emails but nothing from anyone I cared about.  Of course all the really juicy emails went to the farm.  Anderson and the junior ambassador were in contact with the case officer who pretended to be me.


I wondered how well he was as a woman, he might be the male version of me.  Everyone thought I was high on testosterone all the time.  Maybe he was rolling on estrogen.  That kind of thought helped to pass the time, but there was still a lot of dead time because my brain processed information way too quickly.  For instance I could tell that one of the other take out customers was a pot dealer.


I could smell the raw pot on him.  His clothes had a mixture of dirt and pot smells about them.  I debated telling him to move on but decided it was none of my business as long as there wasn’t any trouble associated with him.


Since the Pizza and Pasta Pit was five blocks from the center of town, in a  northwestern direction, and the cop out was three blocks southeast of the center of town, I got a nice tour of the downtown.  During that tour I noticed a parking lot about a quarter of a city block in size.  It had openings into two different streets, since it was on a corner.  On a corner I almost never passed, I might add..


I knew that I wouldn’t forget about it, but it might get moved down on my priority list.  So just in case something happened over the weekend, I called Sylvia.  “Sylvia I was on my way to the cop out and passed a vacant lot a couple of blocks from from downtown central.  Check on the cost of it please.  It’s on the corner of Wrenn and E. Smith street.


I left the message, then slipped the phone back into the cowgirl style denim jacket.  It stayed in that pocket almost all the way to the Cop Out Club.  When it rang, I was in their parking lot.


“Stone,” I said into it.


“It’s me Sylvia, I’ll take a look at the parking lot tomorrow.  Sounds like a good location.  You can walk from your downtown house to the office.”


“Yes I could.  You really wouldn’t need the moped, you could switch to a bike instead.”


“I think, I would like that,” Sylvia said.


“Yeah that sounds about right.  So is there anything else? I’m about to deliver pizza to the Cop Out Club.” I said.


“How about I come down there, if you realize it is not a date,” she said.


“I am sure the cops would love you.  There is always a shortage of gorgeous women here.   And Sylvia you don’t have to remind that we are not dating, I got that already.” I said it, since I was getting a little tired of the constant reminder.


I went inside after she hung up without saying whether she was really going to show or not.  I didn’t mind sharing the spotlight with the pizza, I could complete.  I could probably compete with boobs on a stick, but noway  could I compete with Sylvia.  Even though I wasn’t really trying to compete, it was nice not to be treated like the redhead stepchild at the family Christmas party.


I left the pizza on a table near the bar, then went to find a table with someone I knew, or if not that one with a good view of the dance floor.  Not so that I could see the dancers, but so that they could see me.  Hey I was out to get laid, I fully admit it.  I was actually putting my hopes on the Cowboy’s Bar and Grill, but I would take someone from the Cop Out club.


A very young man who should have been playing video games, rather playing cop, came over.  “Hi there, Ms, Stone I just want you to know I’m a big fan.” he said.


“I hope you remember that, if you stop me for drunk driving.” I said it with a smile.


“Well I won’t be stopping anyone tonight,” he said.


“Thanks for all that information.  If you would like you can have a seat.  I think some others are going to be joining me, but I can’t be sure.”


“In that case,” he said seating himself.  He really did appear to be star struck, so I just let him sit there staring at me.  I was embarrassed, but I didn’t plan to babysit him either.


It wasn’t long before Edsel arrived.  Her boobs were a big hit as I had expected that they would be.  “Edsel, this young man never did give me his name, maybe you will  have better luck,” I suggested.


“Does it matter Maxine?” she asked.


“Excellent point,” I agreed.  We spoke about the younger man as if he didn’t exist and he never objected at all.


“You do know we have a disproportionate size police department?” Edsel asked the young man.


“No I didn’t,” he replied.


“Oh yes it’s about twice the size it should be.  The downtown of Aster is dying but the area adjacent to Tryon is thriving.  So Aster has to have cops to protect the bedrooms of Tryon.”  She smiled as if that somehow made a difference.


“I’ll be sure to mention that to the next guy who breaks into my house,” I said.


“Now play nice Maxine,” the voice behind me said.  It belonged to Sylvia.


“Ah there she is, my conscience.  Sylvia’s here to keep me straight,” I said smiling.  I looked over to see a very uncomfortable Edsel.  I stood up and helped the young cop pull up a second table to make room.  Pretty soon with three unattached women the table filled up with male cops.


When the dancing started things were fun.  “Dance with the boys,” I whispered into Edsel’s ear as I went by.


The three of us were joined by a female fireman and several cops, firemen and paramedics.  The table reminded me of the way it was when I first got to town.  Back then Blevins held court just like this, I thought.


Back then It was mostly men with a few nurses.  That is until I came to town.  Yes I had bribed my way into the club with pizza, but whatever works, just works.


None of the men who returned from the dance floor after dancing with Sylvia came back without an erection.  Several who danced with me didn’t seem all that excited, but I must admit I had a better record than Edsel.  Edsel made it clear she preferred the company of a nurse to a cop.


It was obvious at ten that Sylvia had her pick of the men and probably a few of the women.  So the rest of us soldiered on until midnight.  At midnight one of those macho firemen types invited me to a more private party at his place.  His name was Jess and he made it clear that he worked out.  I almost went just to make fun of him, but in the end I chose not to do it.  I wasn’t just being generous, it would probably be a bad decision to out lift him.  He would make sure everyone knew that there was something wrong with me.


I ended back with the milk drinker who seemed to have gotten lost for a while.  He was probably under Sylvia’s spell.  As we were headed to the door I asked Sylvia, “Where is Peter?”


“He is home waiting for me to call.  We don’t live together you know.” she said defensively.


“That’s fine, I’m going to take this kid home with me for an hour or so.  He is so young I might have a heart attack trying to keep up.” I admitted.


I could come along, I will be a registered nurse in a couple of months.  I mean I would do it just to be on hand, not really to watch or anything.” she suggested with a smile.


“You would do that for me and disappoint your fans?” I asked smiling.


“Almost anything for you hon,” she said.


“Ah I really do appreciate it, but I’ll just take an aspirin first to be sure my heart is in good shape.” I said as I headed to the door to meet him.


“Reginald Allen,” he said with no expression.


“Is that your name?” I asked.


“Yes it is, just so you know for future reference,” he said smiling that time.


“If I need to know I’ll find it somewhere buried in my memory,  thanks.   Now do you want to follow me home?” I asked.


“Would you mind if I told the gym rat fireman that I was going home with you?” he asked.


“I’d rather you wait till it over/  Then I can give you references, if you need them.”  I said it as a joke but he seemed to think I was serious.


“In that case I will work really, really hard,” he said.


“I would rather you work really, really thoughtfully instead.  Go slow as well, now follow me home and let’s see what we can accomplish together.”  As I drove home I was tempted to ask the controller, if she had somehow manipulated me into the arms of the young man.  I could make a case for that, since my choice would have been someone between fifty and seventy to be honest.  This kid was mid twenties at best.  Actually if Sylvia wasn’t so popular, he would have been better with her than me.  He was more her age.


Sylvia might have felt a little strange screwing a cop, some retired  hookers so I’m told.  I know that wasn’t kind but she was just so damn gorgeous.


When Reginald Allen and I arrive at my place, he just stood inside the door staring at me.  “You aren’t a virgin are you?” I asked.  He didn’t answer, he just blushed, what was an answer.  “Oh god,” I moaned,  “I hate virgins.”




About cindypress

sorry it is a mystery.
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6 Responses to 335

  1. jack says:

    We are all only a virgin just once. lol

  2. cindypress says:

    something to be survived not celebrated.

  3. Mr. T. says:

    Virgin, eh?
    I bet you NEVER woke up along side of a midget either !

  4. cindypress says:

    My life has been boring lol. I didn’t get a midget or a basketball player either.

  5. Finbar Saunders says:

    I’ve gone without long enough that I think my virginity has grown back 🙂

  6. cindypress says:

    Born again virgin wonder if that would count in church as a miracle,

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