“No way,” my dad said. “Your mom and I can catch up anytime. You moved out of town again. You were gone four years in the Air Force. then two years in that community college thing down east and now you are living in the mountains. So tell us all about the place where you live.”
“I live in a fifty year old motel, how exciting can that be?” I asked.
“So have you met anyone interesting?” mom asked.
“If you mean have I met any men, I had a date last night. The first date I have had in a year.” I said.
“Eleven months, but whose counting,” my mom said.
“So now you are keeping track of my love life? What the fuck is up with that?” I snapped.
“Watch your mouth,” my dad said.
“Daddy, where the hell do you think I first heard that word. If you remember I was ten and asked you what it meant,” I said.
“Just because I’m an idiot doesn’t mean you get to be,” he said.
“And you are an idiot,” I said. “So how is my step mother anyway?”
“You don’t really want to know. You just want to be sure I know that you don’t approve,” Dad said.
“Daddy, we were both in diapers at the same time. Of course I disapprove.” I burst into laughter. I did that because it hit me just how absurd it all was. I climbed out of bed this morning after having my brains screwed out by two brothers and made fun of my dad’s younger wife. I knew I had no right to say a word, but I didn’t care. He asked for it.
“Well your mother and I are not going to have sex even though someone in this family should,” dad said.
“Is that aimed at me. If it is I’m not anywhere near the frigid bitch you think I am. I’ll have you know that I was the center of a threesome last night.” I said it smugly. Then I laughed out loud. I was struck by a thought. What other twenty six year old woman would have proudly told her parents she had been screwing two guys at the same time. I had to be from the most dysfunctional family in the world.
“So have you learned to enjoy the taste of semen?” my dad asked.
“No, but I haven’t thrown up from it in years,” I suggested. Then I waited to see what mom would say in response. She never said a word, or showed any reaction at all. She just wanted to change the subject quickly.
“So Sylvia, are you enjoying the work?” she asked.
“It’s better than standing guard duty on airport gates in the middle of no where. Now I get to ride around in a car in the middle of nowhere.” I replied.
“So you are getting by, which is pretty much what we all do,” mom said.
“Yeah mom, life is neither terrible nor great, in other words things are just okay. If life gets too good I worry, too bad and I worry, so right now I’m just flowing with it,” I explained.
“You screwing any guys my age?” Dad asked.
“No daddy, I’m only screwing the two guys from last night and they are my age. But I promise you I will keep an open mind about guys your age.” I stared hard at him. I was waiting to see if he was going to do any explaining all about that line of conversation to mom. He obviously didn’t want to open that particular can of worms.
“Well if you need any help your mother is pretty good at picking men to sleep with,” he suggested.
“Oh what does that mean?” I asked.
“Yeah what does that mean?” mom asked.
“It means you have had some pretty important lovers since the divorce. I remarried and you just screwed around,” dad said.
Things were about to turn nasty so I said, “Well thanks for dinner, but I can’t say much for the conversation. Mom I’m taking your car and going back to my own. You can come with me or have dad drop you off at home later,” I said sarcastically.
“I’ll drive and Harry, thanks for dinner, but I think I will go home alone. Your new wife deserves better than this,” mom said. I was proud of her. It might have been the first time I ever heard her say no to daddy. She definitely was being hit on by the dirty old man.
We were about half way home when she asked, “Sylvia, I need to know. I need to know the truth. How far did you and your father go.”
“Mom, nothing ever happened when we were a family. He is an asshole, but he isn’t a pedophile. At least not that I know of,” I said.
“When did it start?” she asked.
“Mom, you really don’t want to know all this,” I said.
“No, I don’t want to know, but I need to know. When did it start?” she asked.
I thought about it and decided to come clean, It might make it easier for her to turn her back completely on that episode in her life. “You two were divorced and I was home on leave after my first deployment to the Sandpit. He took me to dinner like we used to do when I was a senior in high school. The difference was that he let me drink beer that time. I wasn’t quite old enough, but since I was in uniform the waiter didn’t ask.
After a pitcher of beer we got to talking about sex. It was mostly about him and my step mother,” I was just as sarcastic as ever.
“I began to tell him about my sexual adventures. He asked how old I was the first time. I explained that it was when I was sixteen. It was the same year he and the prom queen started fucking.”
“Please don’t talk like that,” mom said.
“Mom, that is the least of my bad habits. Anyway after that the gloves came off. I told him what I thought of him divorcing you for the teeny bopper and he told me what he thought me screwing at sixteen. According to him he knew it all the time. Women act different when they are screwing, or so he said.
After that admission we moved from the restaurant to his apartment. Step mommy was at the beach with her family, so it was our time together. How much detail do you want. I am willing to edit this any way you like.” I said it hoping she wouldn’t want to know any details.
“Did he kiss you with tongue?” she asked. I looked at her and shook my head. I didn’t want to tell her, but I knew I was going to tell the truth.
“Yes, but to be honest we were both a little drunk. I suppose I was as much to blame as him.”
“Yes you were,” mom said. She wasn’t going to let me off the hook easily. “Did you see his penis? He was always proud of it.”
“Yes, but it was after he kissed me. He asked what the largest one I ever had was and I said average. He asked if I had ever seen one nine inches long. I said no. He didn’t ask if I wanted to. He just stood up and unzipped his pants. He removed it from his shorts and I saw it hanging there.” I could not believe that I was saying such things to my mom, but I swear I hoped it would help her move on to a new life. I wasn’t doing it to hurt her.
“In all honesty we had a lot to drink. It didn’t seem like such a big thing. I mean I had seen it before, when I saw the two of you doing it.”
“Did you touch it?” she asked.
I could have lied but I doubted that it would have been believed anyway. “Yes I touched it,” I said. I didn’t want to expound, so I got quiet.
“Did he ask you to touch it?” Mom asked. It was maybe a chance for me to do some damage control, but I chose the truth instead.
“He didn’t ask, but he held it up to me. He stood there waiting to see what I would do,” I explained.
“You already told me that you touched it,” Mom said.
“Yes, I took it in my hand. Before you ask I rubbed it, but very slowly just enough to cause it to become erect. I did not do it fast enough for him to ejaculate.” I explained.
I can’t believe he let you walk away leaving him like that,” mom said. She did know him for sure. “Didn’t he ask you to finish it?”
“I have thought about it over the last couple of years. I think he wanted it to be my idea. What he asked me was what I thought of his cock. He asked if I loved it.”
“What did you tell him?” mom asked.
“I told him that I did, but not sexually. He said he understood. Then he said he had always wondered what my body looked like.”
“You know I did show you mine,” he said to me.
“I guess I was drunk enough so that it only seemed right. I took off my clothes.” I said to mom.
“You have small boobs, not nearly as big as your mom’s, but I always knew that,” he said.
“Did you take off your panties as well?” she asked.
“Yes I did. He also commented that they were wet, and that my thighs were shinny as well.”
“So you were naked and hot for him,” she said pretty cruelly.
“Mom, you would have been, if it were you. Please don’t play holier than thou with me. You are screwing him knowing he is married to someone else.”
“Sylvia he isn’t my father,” she said in a loud firm voice. She got quiet for a while then finally she went back to picking at the injury. “I know how much he loves oral sex. Did you suck his dick?”
“Mom, you are talking like me now,” I said.
“Shut up Sylvia and answer the question,” she demanded.
“No mother, I did not give him a blowjob,” I said angrily.
“What did you do?” she asked. “I know he didn’t let you walk away after you make his dick hard.”
“I let him slip his hand between my legs. Before you asked I let him finger me just as I have let other men do. The only thing wrong is that he is my father. To him, at least, it is just an accident of birth. I think it means nothing.”
“Did you cum for him?” mom asked.
“Yes I did,” I admitted.
“And what did you do for him Sylvia,” she asked.
“I let him watch me masturbate, while he did as well. He came on me just so you know, but I did not taste it.”
“I suspected all of that. I know he likes to come over when you are here and he was never the daddy type, so now at least I know why. What does he do to you these days?”
“We are seldom alone together so mostly it is just a quick grope now and then,” I admitted. I paused and waited but neither of us went on. After a very long pause I asked, “Should I go on back to the mountain?”
“I think so, but call me. I just need time to digest this. I am not angry just disappointed,” she said.
“Fair enough, give me a call if you work it out before you hear from me,” I said.
“Your dad really is a prick isn’t he?” she asked.
“Yes but we all know it,” I said in agreement on my way out the door.