When I awoke the next morning, after a night spent alone, I thought about Gypsy on her way back to town and to the Warren County Jail. The chief deputy gave me till noon as comp time for calling me in to talk to Dee on my day off. I had a feeling that he expected me to be on hand, when Gypsy arrived. I would have been perfectly happy to be back out on the road, when she pulled into town.
I was wrong in what I thought. “Your buddy Gypsy won’t be back for a couple of more days. They are having some paper work glitches, so we are all on hold. They did find her husband though. I should say they found what the catfish left of him,” Simpson said. He caught me in the hallway of the Sheriff’s station.”
“Well that’s fine, but I’m pretty sure I’m all finished with all the Allens,” I said with a smile. At least I am, if you have your way, I thought.
“You never know these days, but you did get lucky this time,” Simpson said.
I should not have said it, but I couldn’t help it. “You don’t think Dee walking in to give her sister up was a piece of good luck for you as well?” I asked. It was obvious from my tone, that I was making fun of Simpson again.
“Oh we were on her trail that’s why she came in. When someone give up like that there is some pressure somewhere on them. I mean more pressure than just doing the right thing,” Simpson thought he was schooling me with the tips.
“I’ll keep that in mind.” I said.
“Porter,” the voice rang out down the hallway. The voice belonged to chief deputy Webster.
“Yes Sir, chief deputy.” I said.
“I decided that I’m going to send you and Simpson down to pick up the Allen woman. Make damn sure that he does not violate her rights.”
“But Chief Deputy I’m very new here one of the other deputies would do better I’m sure,” I replied.
“Oh, which one of them do you think should go to the bathroom with her?” he asked.
“Surely the U.S. Marshall Service would be happy to transport her?” I suggested.
“Simpson you two are going period. Take that big black Caddy SUV we confiscated last month from the meth dealer. Do not lose her.” Webster cautioned us.
“Chief Deputy, I really think that Simpson would be happier with one of the boys,” I suggested.
“Are you implying that Simpson is gay?” Webster asked, with an almost straight face.
“I did not say that sir. Please do not put words into my mouth,” I said.
“It’s okay, I have had my tetanus shots.” Webster replied.
“Not what I meant,” I replied getting more than a little miffed.
“Listen you two, I am sending you together, because I don’t think I have to worry about any extracurricular activities. Do I need to be concerned?” he asked.
“God no,” I said.
“Only if there is a disaster and she is the only female, and I’m the only male left on earth,” Simpson said.
“Only then, if no vibrators survive,” I said it angrily. Just so I could have the last word.
“So go home and pack. You need to leave in time to get there before morning. Ten hours should give you plenty of time to drive it,” Webster said.
“I think I’ll go home and get some sleep. I can pick you up at your motel after dinner and we can leave right away,” Simpson said.
“Why don’t I pick you up, and we can leave from your place?” I asked. I knew no man wanted a woman to drive him around. I had done it just to prick his bubble of authority. I planned to do that early and often.
“Because that will be impossible, since I’m driving,” he went on. “I am the senior officer and I’m driving, end of discussion.”
“You get this one buy, but if you want to be in charge, you better be sure it is stated clearly by the bosses otherwise we are partners.” I said. I turned and walked away ending any further discussion. I figured he could make sure that Webster got word to me, if I was going to be the official rookie doormat on the trip. If that didn’t happen, we were going to be partners, whether he liked it or not.
“Don’t worry, I am going to have a talk with Webster. I know you are our only female deputy, but you are still a rookie.” Simpson said.
“Simpson I have been a cop longer than most of the male patrol deputies. It just wasn’t here,” I said.
“Yeah Afghanistan, that just ain’t the same thing.” he said.
“Simpson, I grant you it was different, but I will not grant you that it was any easier. So go do your thing with Webster because, if he doesn’t make it clear that you are in charge, then you aren’t in charge.” I tried not to sound too argumentative, but I knew I came off that way.
I left the station and went back to my motel room. I took a nap and watched a little TV while I waited for the call from the office. “Porter, this is Sergeant Michaels. Simpson had a fit up here this afternoon and as usual Webster buckled, rather than stand up to any of the men himself. So I have the not so enjoyable task of telling you Webster placed Simpson in charge officially.”
“Actually Sergeant that is a good thing as well as a distasteful one. If something goes wrong Simpson is going to have to stand up to it. He might try to lay it on me, but I’m going to remind Webster who was in change,” I said with a laugh.
“My, my you did learn a lot while serving the country,” Michaels said.
“Yes, I learned that almost all knives cut both ways,” I said with a smile in my voice. Sure I was pissed, but there was no advantage in showing it.
The phone rang again at 8PM. “I’m in the parking lot you ready to go?” Simpson asked.
“Yeah I am, give me a minute to turn off the appliances and pick up my bag and I’ll be down.” I wore my uniform and a lightweight uniform issued coat. I wore it since we had a long ride in what I presumed was a warm car to deal with. The main reason I wore a coat rather than a thermal tee and sweater was to hide the holster and pistol. I wasn’t sure how Simpson would be dressed and I didn’t care.
When I entered the Black Escalade I found Simpson all dressed up like a cowboy pimp. I found it amusing, but I said nothing. Simpson was a clown I decided at that moment. He was no more than ten years older than me. I swear he could have been ten year younger at times. I think it was only women who would have recognized it.
If it hadn’t been dead of winter, I am sure he would have been in a powder puff double knit jacket of some kind. As it was he was in a fake leather jacket that just screamed, ‘I have no taste’. He wore a plain white shirt with a cowboy stitched collar. Simpson was a joke even for a man who was a joke. I said nothing.
“You do know that everywhere we stop you are going to be tagged as a cop?” he asked.
“And you are going to be tagged as a redneck asshole,” I said with a laugh.
“Okay can we at least call a truce. I am in change Sergeant Michaels said he called you.” Simpson couldn’t wait to tell me.
“He told me, so get used to this, I am going to do what you say and only what you say. If anything goes sideways, you will be the one who screwed the pouch. You are not going to be able to blame it on me.”
“That’s fine nothing is going to get screwed up,” he said.
“Well for sure there is no reason for anything to get screwed up,” I said smiling. “With you Simpson, there is always a way, I’m sure.”
“Why do you say that?” he asked.
“You just seem to be the type,” I laughed.
“Okay just sit there quietly while I drive us to Florida,” he demanded.
“Fine, just tell me this oh master. Are we going to head back tomorrow or wait a day?” I asked.
“That depends on the Florida District Attorney,” he explained.
“Well if you drive ten hours down there, I would prefer not to ride ten hours back with you at the wheel. But of course that is up to you Massa.” I said it as sarcastically as I could. We had only been on the road an hour and I was showing my ass. Yes, I knew that I was being a bitch, but I didn’t care.
“Well we will just have to wait till we get there to find out what we are going to do. If we decide to do a flip flop back tomorrow, you can drive some of the way. I’m not such a macho pig, that I want to die to prove a point.”
“Well that’s a good thing at least,” I said. “I prefer not to die to have you try to prove a stupid point. Let’s just try to get this done with a minimum of drama.”
“I can vote for that as well. We don’t have to like each other to show some respect and restraint,” he said.
“I certainly hope we can manage that. It is a good goal to strive toward,” I said smiling.
We rode another hour before he spoke again. “Tell me Sylvia do you have a boyfriend?”
“Actually Simpson, I think I have two brothers,” I said with a quiet laugh.
“Holy shit, well call me Eddie, at least while we are in the car,” he suggested.
“Okay you can call me anything you want, as long as you would allow your mother to hear it.” I said laughing again.
“Fair enough Sylvia. I am going to stop for gas and coffee in a hour or so. Is that okay, or do you need to stop sooner?” he asked.
“I have pretty good bladder control, so I’ll let you know at least half hour before I need to go urgently. If you stop first fine, it not you can stop and get your gas at the same time,” I suggested.
“You aren’t the least bit girlie are you,” Simpson demanded.
“Eddie, I am not a lesbian, so if that is where this is headed forget it. I have just had to pee behind a bush more than once in my life. It wasn’t always when I was a child either. So don’t expect me to be embarrassed by discussions of when and where to pee.”
“Okay, I got it. So you are candid and open about your body, does that hold for every part of it?“ he asked.
“As far as I know I am not embarrassed to discuss anything you can mention. What you can’t do is ask me some veiled questions and expect ah honest open discussion. You have to be willing to put yourself out there.”
That’s how I came to discus sex with Eddie Simpson. He showed me the size of his balls, metaphorically, when he asked, “You ever fuck a man who was a lot younger?”
“Youngest guy I ever screwed was sixteen. The youngest I ever masturbated was thirteen. By the way I was a minor at the time of both.” I said.
“Of course, so I guess I have to confess,” Eddie said.
“Yes you do,” I replied.
“Fingered a girl who was under twelve. I’m not sure how much under. The youngest I ever put it in was fourteen. By the way I will deny it if you pass that on. I would expect you to do the same.”
“Oh yes,” I replied.