My last night on swing shift was a bust. Even so I slept till noon the next day. When I awoke I took a shower, then dressed in my jeans and one of my forest green tee shirt. I wore one of the several men’s white dress shirts over it. I also clipped the off duty holster onto my belt before I slipped on the medium weight parka type field jacket. Being a military police person would have allowed me to steal all the uniforms I wanted, but I bought mine from the surplus store just outside the back gate of my last base. The uniforms were things with which I was familiar. That being the case I had no problem parting with the few dollars it cost to pick up lots of fatigues pieces. I got green tee tops and the heavy and light weight parkas for a tiny fraction of their real worth.
I had already been told by the rednecks I met off duty, that there was nothing sexier to them than a woman in camo. I couldn’t do camo pants they made my ass look huge, but most anything else I could do just fine. I just like the look of white dress shirts and blue jeans.
I drove from the motel to the best barbecue joint in the area. It just happened to be across the square from the courthouse. I knew there should be a deputy or lawyer having lunch there around 1PM, when I arrived. That day was no exception.
“Hey Porter I hear you are into threesomes. I would like to volunteer.” the deputy I hardly knew suggested.
“Whats your name again, Jones?” I asked sarcastically.
“Melvin James,” he said. Fortunately he was alone.
“Well Deputy James that is pretty much sexual harassment, just sayin’.” I replied innocently.
“Oh, I’m sorry I was just kidding. Word is going around about that Gypsy Austin chick saying you and Simpson propositioned her. I really didn’t mean any harm.” he said.
“Don’t tell me you believed her?” I asked.
“Of course not,” he said trying to crawl out from under the load, I insinuated, I might drop on his ass.
“Good, it would really piss me off, if anyone thought that I would ever have sex of any kind with Simpson,” I smiled as I said it. It was the way he looked after that which gave me the idea. It wasn’t like it was anything new to me. There was a really nasty variety of sand flea going around on my last deployment. I had to have it done before I could board a plane home.
So after I ate my really wonderful chopped barbecue sandwich alone, I drove to the men’s barber shop one block off the square. I parked in the very small and narrow parking lot between his building and the old style general store beside him. Once inside the front door the single black barber asked, “What can I do for you ma’am?”
“Well to be honest, the weather is shit and I’m tired of having wet hair every time I sit down to watch TV. How much would you charge to give me an electric clipper cut? I want it pretty much shaved, but with no razors.” I asked.
“Ma’am I couldn’t do that,” he said shaking his head.
“Fair enough, just thought I would ask,” I explained. I found it hard to believe that he would turn down the business. Then I realized how much shit he could be stepping into, if I was a typical woman and changed my mind a day later. Boyfriends and husbands sitting on his door step screaming, “How could you?”
I went to the Walmart store on the edge of Dobson. From them I bought a set of Wahl electric clippers for under twenty bucks. I decided that with a couple of mirrors I could do the job just fine. I checked out through a cutesy little white girl’s register.
“I have a set just like this I use to clip my poodle. I just love them,” she said smiling.
“Yeah well I don’t have a dog. I just have thin limp ratty hair that is about to become history,” I said with a smile. I was even more amused by how horrified she looked.
I talked big but it took me over an hour to work up the courage to make that first cut. I wasn’t a bit worried by the amount of bourbon it took to work up the nerve. How much skill was going to be required to shave my head?
Fortunately even though my hair hung down it was limp and dry enough to be easy for the humming sheers to move through. It took a dozen passes, at least, but in the end my scalp was visible with just a brown stubble over it. I needed to go shopping again, I thought. I needed one of those chemotherapy head rags,without a doubt.
I had just enough bourbon in me to make that a stupid idea. The drive to shop was the stupid idea, I decided. I fell into bed and napped two more hours. When I awoke from the nap, I wasn’t sorry that I had made the moves I had. I did wish that I had some head covers ready before I gave myself the haircut.
The ringing phone woke me from my nap. It was a call from Simon Boyle.
”What?” I asked irritated.
“Sylvia you do know that it’s Friday. Historically people go out on Friday night,” he said.
“Sure to dinner and a movie kind of thing, is that what you are inviting me to do?” I asked.
“Not exactly, I kind of had an orgy in mind,” he said.
“Of course you did the only problem is I’m a cop honey. Even though it sounds great, I would lose my job most likely,” I said.
“What if it were on a boat filled with tourists who were just passing through.” he asked.
“Simon there is no place around her for a boat like that,” I said logically.
“I know that, but would that be an acceptable risk?” he asked.
“Sure I guess so,” I said.
“Do you know what the Winter Festival is in Mountain Home?” he asked.
“Some kind of ski thing, isn’t it?” I asked
“Hell no, it’s a week of Atlanta businessmen drinking and screwing each other’s wives. I think they ski a little now and then. I just happen to have an invitation to one of the private after the race parties. We won’t know a soul,” he said. “More important not a soul will know us.”
“Do I want to know how you got an invitation?” I asked.
“I’m a vendor that’s all you need to know,” he said. “I am not supplying hard drugs, That might also help you decide.”
“And when would we be leaving?” I asked.
“We would be leaving in about an hour. It’s a two hour drive to the Mountain Home resort,” he informed me.
“You think a woman can be ready for a party with a one hour notice?” I asked.
“I think you can,” he said. “Dress comfortable, but sexy.”
“Alright, be here in an hour.” I said.
I didn’t like dressing so quickly, since I really hadn’t brought sexy clothes with me. I needed to shop for something like a private party, but I would just have to make do. I did have a shiny gold top which I could wear with no bra. It was cut low all over the place. Wide neck wide arm holes the whole thing was on big hole. I could wear it with a pair of hip riding tight black jeans. It was my slutty bar outfit. The one for when I just had to get laid, no excuses accepted.
I took a first look at myself in a sexy outfit with no hair. I somehow looked exotic not just homosexual, as I had been afraid I might look. Simon was at my door exactly one hour after the call. He came in and tool one look at me then he kissed me.
Not only did he kiss me he ran his hands under my top and held my breasts as he continued to kiss me. I found it erotic. “Damn woman, I love that hair cut. With that haircut and that top, you look like that chick from alien or whatever. I want to skip the party and just stay here and fuck your brains out.”
“Then let’s do that,” I suggested.
“I need to go to the party to make the delivery,” he informed me. “It’s a reputation thing.
“You expect me to ride in a car filled with something illegal?” I asked.
“You know better. The product is going to meet me there. I am just the expediter. I never really have it in my possession.” Simon said.
“If you get me busted and I lose my job, I will kill your ass and your bother as well,” I said seriously.
“I would expect no less,” Simon agreed.
We arrived at the gated community of Mountain Home two hours later. It had been two hours with Simon’s hand on my thigh and higher, or on my boobs, under the gold top. Yes I kept him entertained as well. It did help the time pass, I have to admit.
“Why are we waiting?” I asked.
“The product is on the way. The text I got said he is five minutes away waiting for us to arrive. Stop Worrying Sylvia, I do this all the time.”
“No you don’t do this with me in the fucking car,” I said raising my voice. I have to admit that it made my heart beat faster.
“Well that part is true. It seemed like only ten second passed before I saw the headlight of the approaching care blink. Simon left his very cool sports Oldsmobile, if there is such a thing, to walk back. When he returned he put something inside the trunk, then walked to the driver’s door, I really began to worry.
“See no sweat,” he said.
“We are in more danger now than ever idiot. We in possession of something illegal. I’m sure it is felonious whatever it is.” I said.
“Yeah, but it does pay well,” he said.
What proved to be the first of two deliveries was to the main clubhouse. He and the man who came out to take the large black sports duffel bag appeared to be old friends. Thee man walked away after having given Simon a large brown envelope.
“So are we rich?” I asked when he got back in the car.
“No but we are more than even now. The next delivery is all profit,” he informed me. “It is also where the party is.”
“Right, or it is where the trap is waiting to be sprung on the unsuspecting mice,” I said. Simon drove off laughing at me. I sure as hell hoped that I didn’t have the last laugh.
The next and last stop was a condo’s front door. I had no idea how large or how the condo was configured. I just knew there were evergreen trees blocking the view of the building from the street, and more blocking the view from the parking lot as well.
I was standing with Simon when the man came to the door. “Simon I have been expecting you. God it’s good to see you.” They shook hands and made an exchange of the smaller bag. “So is this the lovely friend you spoke about?”
I looked at Simon as he said. “Yes Theo, this is Sylvia.”
“So Theo, what exactly did Simon say about me?” I asked
“He said you were bold and adventurous, but also required convincing to try new things,” he said with a smile.
I looked him in the eye when I said, “Convincing is not the same as force my friend.”
“Yes Sylvia Porter, but the border is very thin,” he said with a laugh. I returned his smile just because he seemed to be quite gracious about it all. But I was happy about the flat plastic handle with the snap blade craft knife inside.