“I don’t mind play acting, but get this. I do know it is just a part on the world stage. Real life trumps play acting,” I said to Tom, when we got to the room.
“Everything is just a part on the world stage, it’s all play acting.” Tom said.
“True,” I said. Then after a couple of seconds of thought about my present gig, I added, “Daddy.”
No, I never saw Tom as my real daddy, nor did I see him as a sugar daddy. I just saw him as a man who wanted to be called Daddy. I was not responsible for how he saw me.
“Go take a shower and get into bed,” he demanded.
I didn’t answer I went into the bathroom to shower. I washed the smell of pot and sweat from my body. Then all fresh and clean I got into bed. I said to Tom. “You better hurry the acting stops at midnight.”
Tom took his bag and went to the bathroom to shower. When he returned, he did so quietly. He slipping into the dark bedroom. Then he slipped between the sheets and I flashed back to own father doing the same thing. I should have been a terrible and shocking memory, except I had already come to terms with it. It was just a memory and it held no power over me, I had decided that all on my own. I didn’t need a shrink for it. The hardest thing to come to terms with was that he had made me feel good. Not at first, but after I while, there was no pain only pleasure. That was also a memory the pure animal pleasure, and also the emotional pleasure of pleasing daddy.
With Tom, the later memories won out. There was no shame in the bed, that came later when the sun rose. In the dark, and in my warm bed, there was only pleasure. My first real orgasm had come in that bed in the arms of the man I called Daddy. When I came the first time, it was all just perfect. I spent most of my life in search of that first almost painful orgasm. Nothing painful had been going on, it was just a emotional pain of a kind of break through. The gut wrenching, muscle cramping, teeth clenched orgasm. Of course I could never find that almost painful orgasm again. Like any first, it only happens once.
Tom was a demanding lover. I was told exactly how to give a blow job, as if it were my first. He talked to me the whole time in a soothing voice. I could remember my childhood reactions to doing it for the first time. Of even being proud when my mouth filled with his semen. I know it was wrong, but I loved it, and was proud of myself regardless. Just as it had happened the first time, Tom kissed me and then left my bed. I masturbated alone in the darkness to the memory of his cock in mouth, just as I had the first time as well. With his bed so close he had to have heard me getting off. Daddy had missed those sounds.
5AM came way the fuck too early. I dressed for my run, then left the room. Tom’s was sound alseep, so I didn’t ask if he wanted to go. I just took off and ran till 6;15, since it took me about fifteen minutes to find my clothes in the dark. That morning I took my special wallet and well as my key card. It went down the road a half hour then back to the motel, with the convenience store in the parking lot.
I stopped at the convenience store and bought a quart of over priced milk and a quart of exorbitantly priced orange juice. Then I returned to the suite. I put both items on the sideboard while I dressed. I didn’t even try to be quiet, since I wanted Tom up and ready to move.
I took a shower and then dressed in a very thin white tee shirt, which I wore only with the outfit I wore that day, after it I put on the upside down shoulder rig for the .38. The thick red tee shirt came next, then the tight jeans. I chose the tight jeans, since I would be driving not body guarding. I didn’t need all the pockets of the baggy cargo pants and I wanted to look as sexy as possible, I admit that.
After I dressed I found the bag of paper bowls I had bought in the grocery store. Into it I poured a full bowl of all bran cereal. Then I added the a large pinch of the three dried fruits mix to it. I topped it all off with two packets of equal, then milk. I knew that big ass bowl of cereal, crammed into the small paper bowl, was going to make it difficult to control.
I used some of the milk and a packet of the coco mix from my stash to make hot chocolate. I wasn’t near as watery, as it would have been with the water, but it still wasn’t very good. While it heated in the small electric coffee pot, I started on the orange juice and cereal, I should be able to sip it after breakfast I thought.
I took one bite of my breakfast and decided I needed a real spoon for the cereal. The plastic spoon was much too small. I was watching the morning news and sipping on the hot chocolate which wasn’t even warm, when Tom left his bed for the bathroom.
“Is there any coffee,” he asked looking at my make shift table top kitchen.
“Sorry, Coffee made me sick, now the thought of it turns my stomach,” I said. “I threw out all the coffee making stuff, except the coffee maker. You can buy some coffee stuff today if you want. I won’t be using the coffee maker again. I am going to stop for a tea pot to heat water to a boil, so you can get stuff then.”
“I’ll can wait till we are on the road. You look like you are about ready to go?” it was a question.
“Just have to pick up my bag,” I said. and put all this stuff away.
“Me too, so let’s get to it,” he said. His voice had that command presence to it.
“Sure Tom, I just want to finish this cup of hot chocolate.” Now I could have poured it out and left immediately, but I wanted to let Tom know from the beginning, I was going to be the one making decisions. If we could settled it without making and issue of it, maybe it would never be an issue. I know that makes no sense to you, but it did to me. I told you I was warped.
After another five minutes, I shut down the TV and rinsed my travel coffee cup really well.
Tom how about running down to the lobby and filling the ice chest. I want to carry the unused milk and orange juice with us. I’m afraid it might spoil in the heat, if we don’t ice it. While you do that, I will get my shit together.” That didn’t sit well with him.
“Tom listen hon, you can ride in the car with me, and you can stay in the company provided lodging, while we are on the road. Or you can just show up at the venue three hours before the gig. If you chose the later, the company won’t pay. If you decide to take advantage of the company expenses, you will have to be a team player. That means doing what I ask of you, it’s as simple as that.”
“Yeah, I know, It’s a little hard taking orders. I’m really not used to it, since I left the department.” he said.
“Surely people in those part time gigs tell you what to do,” I suggested.
“Yeah but we didn’t ‘you know’ the night before,” he said.
“Tom, if that is going to be a problem, I will book two rooms and keep my door locked. The job is still the job, even if it is only pretend,” I said smiling.
“No, I’ll be fine now that I understand,” he said. “I’ll get the ice chest, if you will be ready to go, when I get back, and if you agree to stop for coffee at the corner store.”
“That’s a deal,” I said. That’s is when he decided I was an equal partner, even though he was the one on probation. Twenty minutes later we were pulling out of the convenience store headed for the city of Charlotte North Carolina, It is where I decided we would spend the night. It gave swamp dog a full days work driving, after wasting the one before. It was almost 8AM when we left for the day. I found another Econo Lodge in Charlotte at 7PM.
“So what is your stomach up for,?” Tom asked.
“I can find something edible on the menu, anywhere except Mexican,” I said.
“Well I don’t know the town, how about we just go to a steak house,” he said.
I thought about explaining the hand thing, but decided that I wouldn’t bother. I could order ground steak and a baked potato. I could usually cut the potato with my fork. So we went to a family steak house. I paid the bill and put the tip on the company card.
After dinner we went back to the motel. Tom took the ice chest to the motel office to fill it and the bucket from the room. I took the white milk, the orange juice, and the chocolate milk out of the cooler. There was half a bottle of white milk, half a bottle of orange juice and very little chocolate milk. We had stopped at lunch to buy the tea pot and the milk along with coffee for Tom. I sipped on the milk all the way to the motel.
When we got back to the room I made coffee for Tom. I used the electric tea kettle to heat milk for hot chocolate. The side board was littered with small appliance and food for the night’s tv and the morning breakfast. Tom used my computer and the motel’s Wifi to check his email after dinner. After that Tom wanted to watch the news on Fox. I read some news online while he did that. I also checked in on the adult chatrooms Just to see who was there.
“Why don’t you take a bath and go to bed,” Tom said. He was somehow different but not nutty different, just confident. He looked at me not as a partner, but like a lover. I knew I could swing either way, and I hoped Tom could as well. I moved easily between two worlds. One was filled with light and one was filled with darkness. It remained to be seen if Tom could do it. If he could, he had just slipped into the dark world.
I simply shut everything down and went into the bathroom. I took off my clothes and folding up the jeans, but the tops went into a pile to be added to the roll of clothes from Sunday and Monday. My hair was still short from the military hairdo I had just before we left. I did it not for the weird look, but for the convenience. I could towel it dry and it was fine. That’s what I did that night. I also put on the extra long tee shirt, which I sometimes slept in. Then I walked into the bedroom to give Tom a look at me almost naked.
“God you are so beautiful, “ he said.
“Thank you,” I paused before I added, “Daddy.”
“Go to bed and turn out the lights,” he said as he walked into the bathroom. I noticed he carried nothing to wear out.