That afternoon they came for me again. I was taken to one of the buildings which looked a lot like a double wide mobile home, only one hell of a lot stronger. My escort to the building was just like all the other men, I swear all the men I met were beautiful. They should put out a fucking calendar, I thought.
“My name is Tom,” the instructor said. He was wearing fatigues not one of those robes that the jap slap guys wear. “I’m supposed to show you all the ways to kill a man, when you lose your gun.”
“Okay,” I said.
“Empty your pockets and I’ll show you how to use stuff you already have as a weapon.” he suggested.
“Okay,” I said again. I put the knife, fork, and spoon on the table as well as the recently added tooth brush shank. I found time after lunch to sharpen it. I used a steak knife which I had stolen from the mess hall at lunch. I didn’t try to carry the steak knife it in the jeans which I wore that afternoon.
“Shit maybe you should teach this course. I heard about your jail house club. That and what you have in your pockets would do a man in just fine,” he said. “You have something to make a puncture wound.” He was holding the tooth brush when he said that. “Something to make a slashing wound. He was holding the plastic knife. Not to mention a couple of eye gouging wounds. He said holding the spoon and fork. What else do you usually carry with you?”
“I only have those things because, I was flying and had to toss out my box openers and stun gun.” I said in a very simple voice.
“Armed with what you have on you, what would you do if I grabbed you from behind?” he asked.
“Since, I don’t have the muscle to throw you, I would stab you in the arm with the toothbrush. Most men can’t look past that kind of pain. If you could, I would pull it out and do it again. That is like for a gang banger not an experienced hand to hand combat killer. You I would convince that I was helpless, and then stab you in the eye, Go for the brain dead wound right away.” I said simply.
“Where did you learn all that?” he asked.
“Here and there,” is all I would say.
“So you would play act to get me to lower my guard, then kill me without warning?” he asked.
“If I can survive the first five minutes, I would butcher the attacker like a pig,” I said.
“I’ll bet that was a favorite in the sand box where you were,” he said.
“It fits for men in general,” I said.
“You don’t think much of men do you?” he asked.
“Never knew one that didn’t disappoint me,” I replied.
“Even your father?” he asked,
“I learned some thing from him, but yeah he was the first to let me down,” I said.
“He teach you the soap in the towel thing,” He asked.
“Visiting day at the federal prison in Atlanta/ I went to see him just before I shipped out for the sand box. He told me that and and a few other things,” I said.
“Like what, I’m curious now. I might learn something,” he suggested.
“Like where to bite a man to sever his juggler,” I said, “Best done naked and while engaged in sex. His heart is pumping fast and the end is quicker. Then you can step in the shower and wear the same clothes home,” I said.
“I see, well I don’t know how much more I can teach you, but lets just talk common weapons.” He said then he lectured me about household items that make excellent hand to hand combat weapons. They worked especially well for a girl like me, light in the ass and crippled up.
Another beautiful man escorted me back to the trailer I was calling home for a day or two it appeared. I plugged my computer into their wifi and checked out the web. I had no doubt that I was being watched and probably filmed. I decided to fuck with them. So I went to an adult chat room and masturbated for some dude hanging out there. Then I looked up and said, make me up about ten of those. They are worth real money on the net.
Another of the really handsome and muscled young men came and walked me to the dining hall again. The food was good especially for food made in such a large lot. There weren’t any fried food but lots of baked and grilled items. I returned the steak knife.
At the end of my meal, a woman came to escort me back to the trailer. “So what’s your name?” I asked.
“This week I’m Ellen,” she said smiling at me.
“And Ellen what are you supposed to test me on,” I asked.
“I an supposed to talk to you about your moral code. I need to decide how flexible you are.” She said.
“Oh this should be interesting. I always wanted to know where I drew the line,” I said.
“Well, maybe we can find out,” the bookish looking woman suggested.
“Let’s do it, I can never know too much about myself.” I said.
“Good, then first of all do you consider your self moral?” she asked.
“I can only answer that if we both have the same definition of moral. For instance my definition is knowing right from wrong and doing right more than wrong is moral,” I said.
“That’s interesting, do you think taking a human life is ever the right thing to do.” she said.
“See that’s one of the times I have been unsuccessful at being completely moral. I consider it always wrong to take a life,” I said.
“But you have killed men?” she asked.
“Yes, so far they have been men who wanted to kill me,” I said. “I still think it is wrong to kill anyone, but I did find it necessary to preserve my own existence. I think we are all connected. In killing any man, for any reason, I am killing part of myself. We are all part of the same existence.” I said.
“You are putting me on, right?” she asked.
“Am I? I don’t think I am, but maybe I am without realizing it.” I said.
“Would you ever kill a man, who wasn’t trying to kill you?” she asked. “Say he was threatening someone else.”
“We are all innocent, and we are all guilty. some of us are more innocent than others. If I found myself in a situation where killing a man, who is more guilty than the people he was about to kill, then I could kill the more guilty of the two, but only in order to save the more innocent of the two. But it would still weight heavy on my soul. For we are all connected and killing anyone good or bad also kills a part of me. It would however kill a much larger part of him. I wonder how you measure that.” I said.
“Do you always talk like this?” Ellen asked.
“No, just when I get into a philosophical discussion, People who want simple yes or no answers are not striving to really learn about me. The just want to find a hole to put my peg into.” I said with a smile.
“Alright lets move on to other things,” she said. I nodded my agreement so she went on. “Would you ever use sex as a weapon.”
“Sex would be a poor weapon for me. I almost alway enjoy sex as much as the men or women who share it with me. I don’t think I am capable of any kind of sex that would injure my partner.”
“No, I mean would you use sex to further a plan,” she asked.
“I really can’t say. I would use sex, if I were hungry to obtain food. Would I use sex to gain an advantage is what you are asking. It really depends on who the man is. I have never screwed a man, I find truly repulsive. But then there are few men in which I can’t find some good. We all have good and evil in us, It is only the measure of each which makes us who we are.
I screwed my last partner. He had more good than evil in him. I did it for my own welfare. I knew that if I screwed him, he would be more concerned with protecting me. So I did it, so that I would not have to look behind me, if we had to go through a door.”
“So you would use sex to gain an advantage,” Ellen asked.
“If I could justify it, yes,” I said.
“Is there any sex act you would not do if necessary?” she asked.
“Sex with a horse, I definitely would not have sex with a horse. A pony, I would have to give some thought, when I was confronted with the pony,” I said.
“How about sex with a woman?” she asked.
“Are you propositioning me. Because not only are you a woman, you are a shrink. I would be forced to make two decisions would I have sex with a woman, which wouldn’t require all that much thought, but also would I want
to have sex with a shrink. I’m not sure about that one. Unless you are propositioning me, then I will give it some serious thought. So are you?”
“No I’m not,” she said.
“Good, I want have to think about that,” I shivered when I said it.
She looked a little flustered when she said, “How would you sum up your moral code.”
“In one word?” I asked.
“Sure, if you want,” she agreed.
“Flexible,” I said with a smile.
“You know you have the kind of background that makes for a serial killer,” she said.
“I suppose so, but even serial killers have their uses I suppose. We are connected to the serial killer, just as we are connected to his victims.” I said.
“Would you take out a serial killer,” she asked.
“I need more information. Did I know any of his victims. Is he likely to target any of my friends or family?” I asked.
“What difference does that make?” she asked.
“Well, if I knew any of the victims past, present, or likely future, then it would be personal. I would have to think about that. But if it were purely taking out the trash, it would be a different thing.” I said.
“If you didn’t know any of the people in your scenario?” she asked.
“I would kill him, if called on to do so, but I would take no pleasure in it. Not even in knowing that I had done something that needed doing.” I said.
“And, if you did know the victims,” she asked.
“Then I would kill him more than one time,” I replied.
“You know this interview is the only thing standing in the way of you working for Swamp Thing?” she asked.
“Yes, so tell me Doctor Ellen, what have you learned tonight.” I said.
“Truthfully?” she asked.
“Yes truthfully,” I said.
“I learned that your moral compass does not point to due north,” she said. “Not even toward magnetic north.”
“Probably loose on it’s peg,” I said.
She left me and reported to the Colonel and the Commandant. “So what do you think,” the commandant asked.
“In my professional opinion, she is crazy as a loon. Those reports from her personal files are contradictory and so is she.” Doctor Ellen said.
“But you liked her didn’t you,” the Colonel asked.
“I would spend a lost weekend with her, and I have never considered a woman before, but I’m not sure I like her.” The doctor said.
“And that my fine doctor is what will make her an excellent employee,” the commandant said. “We will start her as a contractor and work her into the system.”
“You know, she may come for you one day,” the doctor said.
“I wouldn’t have an employee who followed blindly, or was afraid to hold us responsible for what we do,” the commandant said.