I turned to the task of testing for the best way to flavor the shine. I knew there were two options to make a cocktail of it. I just needed to find the very best ways and go with that. Like I had said on the tape, I thought the novelty of it and the slightly illegal nature of it, would make it sell like hot cakes.
Phil turned the video recorder on as I spoke, “What I really need to do here is to find the best and most universally accepted drink. Then we can figure out how to make it in bulk. I think orange juice would be good, I also think a planter’s punch with be a good choice, I also want to make some old time rock candy. Purely for medicinal purposes of course.
So now I’m going to start the testing. First I am going to cut up an orange and then I am going to soak it at least over night in about a pint of shine.” I cut the orange and stuck it in a plastic container. It came from the bag full of things I had bought a bunch of them at the dollar store.
I looked up at the camera and said, “Now I am going to put a cup of shine over a bag of peppermint candy. That ends the soaking of items in the shine experiment. Next I am going to mix orange juice and a couple of ounces of shine to make a shiny screw driver. And some planter’s punch to make a shiny new planters punch, so that completes our first expierment. Only left to do todayj is to try the two cocktails and decide which is best.”
I looked into the camera then after a minute I said cut.
“So Phil, you and me will be the first two people to try it. This shine is real thing it is over a hundred proof. We can mix it a little heavy on mixers and get away with it. So let’s try the shiny screw driver,” I suggested.
I mixed the first one with an ounce of shine and an ounce of orange juice. The second one I had less shine and more orange juice. I took a drink of each and found it smoother than Vodka and stronger as well. Both drinks tasted the same to me. The amount of liquor in the drink did not seem to make a difference.
Phil had the camera on me while I tasted it. He didn’t show himself drinking it, but I asked him on camera what he thought. He said, “It is smooth, very smooth.”
“Now let’s try the shiny new planter’s punch,” I mixed the two drinks exactly as I had before except I used a fruit drink with several juices in it. The cocktail it made was just as good. Phil’s comment off camera was, “I think this one is even smoother.”
When the camera stopped rolling I said,” I think we are going to have to choose one because they taste so much alike,”
“I would go with the planter’s punch it is smoother,” he said. “It doesn’t seem so acidic.”
“Okay we will definitely start with the planter’s punch then,” I said. “I want to see how the orange wedges in the shine makes the shine taste and the candy.”
“So when do we want to check them out,” Phil said.
“Well it’s Wednesday, how about you or Jeff come her at noon on Friday. We will check it out then.” I suggested.
“You only used about a quart of shine, you got almost three fourths of that gallon left.”
“I have couple tricks left up my sleeve for Friday,” I said.
Thursday was a complete bore. After I stopped at the fanciest grocery store in the plaza during my morning bike ride. I had to go back home and then return later, because they had not been open, when I visited Hardee’s at 6:30AM. After my two attempts to buy the next experiment items, I pretty much spent Thursday alone, I had only the computer and TV to pass the time. I did watch just about every reality show on TV. The docudrama was coming into it’s own, it seemed.
Shortly after noon on Friday I was ready to see what was what. The phone rang just after noon. “Do you think that shine is ready?” asked the voice on the other end of the call.
“You know, who ever you are, I have no fucking idea what you are talking about. If I do know you, come on over and we will talk about it like civilized people.” I broke the connection abruptly.
The two clowns both showed up at my door about a half hour later. I watched them come up the driveway. I thought I could kill one of them with the cross bow and even with my club hand I could probably load and shoot the other one before he could react. They were such simple minded fucks, I thought. I knew I was going to let them live since they might prove helpful and I didn’t have pay them.
Once they were inside I told them to start the camera. Then I began talking, “If you ever call me like that again, I’m going to rip you fucking tongue out. Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” they answered off camera. They did seem thoroughly impressed. Maybe they had heard of me from Mary Ellen.
“Good, because I am serious cops and feds can tap a cell phone easier than a house phone. So watch what you say on them. even when you talk to each other. They can tap, because of you for you other films and get to me, or they can tap me and get to you. So be fucking careful what you say.”
“I understand,” one of them said.
“Me to,” the second one said.
“Now lets get down to business.” I filled the two ounce cup with the shine off the peppermint candy.
“Taste it and tell me what you think,” I demanded.
“It doesn’t taste much like peppermint, but it is a little smoother,” the one I knew as Jeff said.
“How about you?” I asked. The camera shook while Phil tried it.
“I like it but it isn’t very pepperminty,” Phil said
“Now try this one,” I said opening the cap on the storage container with the sliced oranges in it. They both agreed there was a mild orange taste in it and the orange slices were excellent.
I poured a straight two ounce cup of shine, then put one drop of peppermint oil in it. “Now try this one,” I demanded.
“Oh yeah that is almost too much peppermint, but you can sure as hell can taste that.” Phil said. He handed the cup to Jeff, who agreed with him.
“Okay so we have three products to sell,” I said. “Now I need to see about distribution.”
“Who you gonna see and why the blending,” Jeff asked for the camera,”
“Moonshine has always been a man’s business. Men hide in the woods and make it. Then men pack in a car and carry it to road houses, where other men buy it. What I plan to do is market it to women. They are going to be dealing with a woman, and they are going to be selling it to other women.,” I explained. “First we are going to distribute, then later we might just go into the manufacturing end of the business.”
“So where you gonna sell it,” Phil asked.
“That ain’t none of your fucking business camera man,” I said.
“Alright, sorry I asked,” he said immediately.
“Don’t worry about it. I will tell you when you cross the line,” I knew he was still filming and it was fine with me. “So we need to find a place to do the blending and repackaging. First thing thought is to be sure I can sell it. I need to pitch it to a friend from the old days. He has the connections.” I waited a minute and told them to cut.
I went into the living room to call my old friend Jim Boyle. I had made him a lot of money back in the day, and I figured he would owe me a favor. At least he would know who the hell I was.
“Jim this is your old party girlfriend,” I said. “Do you remember me?”
“Of course, what can I do for you?” he asked.
“We need to meet. I have a little favor to ask.” I answered.
Tell you what, you know that park on the way to Dobson, The one with the bandstand?” he asked.
“Yeah, I know it,” I said.
“Two hours and come alone,” he said.
“Fair enough,” I said, then broke the connection.
“We aren’t prepared for this,” Phil said.
“Nothing to be prepared for, you can’t film him. I’m not wearing a wire,” I said. “We can do an on camera replay of it for you, if he agrees. If not then you can film me repeating what we agreed upon.”
I met Jim and his brother Simon in the park. I knew just what to expect, since they were both very familiar with my body. They had no qualms about searching me thoroughly. “You going to do a cavity search right out here in the open?” I asked.
“Well maybe we will get in my car and I can do one of those there?” he suggested,
“Not for what I have in mind,” I said.
“Okay what do you want from me after all this time?” he said.
“I need some names, addresses, and introductions,” I said. “I’m going in the moonshine business.”
“You gonna be in competition with me?” he asked.
“Straight shine doesn’t interest me. Neither does that shit you sell that takes shine to a whole new level, a DEA level. I just want to sell something for the ladies, I’m going to test it before I sell a drop of it make sure we don’t leave a trail of bodies behind,” I said.
“What’s my cut,” He asked.
“There isn’t room for anymore hogs at the trough,” I said.
“Then the answer is no,” he said.
“Okay, your call we probably aren’t friends any more then,” I said that as I turned to go.
“I see what I heard about you is true,” he said pointing to my hand.
“Probably, but I still got lots of friends over there,” I said smiling at him.
“How you going to prove to me that you ain’t working undercover no more?” he asked.
“Only one thing that I’m doing that I didn’t tell you because you don’t need to know. I got a couple of documentary film makers following me around. See they ain’t here. So that means I take this seriously.” I noticed that Simon and Jim both looked nervous,
“You gonna get paid by that film maker,” Jim asked.
“I’m getting half of whatever they get, when and if they can sell it,” I said, “I ain’t asking you to be part of that.”
“I have seen some of them shows. I tell you what, you have them film you give me a blow job, and you can have both. I’ll give you the introduction, and I’ll be in your docudrama. They to include the blow job in the show. No undercover cop would do that,” he said.
“Where you wanna do it,” I asked,
“You come to that motel where you used to live. I’ll call to give you the room number.
I nodded my agreement and that is how we left it.