“Maybe I should go to keep you from getting mugged. A woman alone in a strip club is going to be mistaken for a hooker,” The Brit said.
“I’m not sure anyone is going to recognize her as a woman. Sylvia is wearing her androgynous look tonight. Sylvia you do that so well, I wouldn’t know for sure myself,” Jeremy said. “But Allen you are right just in case you probably should go. If it is a fun place, we can go on a weeknight, if Sylvia will manage the pub for a couple of hours?”
“You know I will,” I suggested.
“But,” Jeremy said, “I expect you to bring that bimbo dancer here for dinner on her next night off.”
“You thinking about changing sides Jeremy?” I asked.
“You never know. They say there is a woman for every man. Maybe she is the one,” he said with a huge laugh. One in which we all joined him.
It had stopped raining earlier in the day, so the road was more or less dry. If it hadn’t stopped raining it would probably be freezing rain as it had been the night before. The interstate had dried off due to all the traffic running up and down it. Most of the side roads were dry as well, but the parking lot of the Exotic dance club had a few slick spots. I didn’t have four wheel drive and the cruiser/ micro-minivan was light in the ass. All that made me a little ice paranoid.
I managed to find a space where I could back the cruiser in against the building. I didn’t think it was too slippery there, but we would see when I tried to leave. At least I had The Brit to push me, if I needed it. I didn’t plan to stay long, so conditions shouldn’t deteriorate before I pulled away from the dance club. “So this is what the strips clubs look like in a college town,” The Brit said.
“Yes, I guess it is,” I replied. I wore that strip of elastic for a bra. I also wore a baggy top and pair of cargo pants. I hoped that I looked like a slightly effeminate young man with really bad hair. It was ten thirty when we entered the club. It was dark enough outside and bright enough inside, so that we didn’t need any time for my eyes to become accustomed to the dark.
I saw Kara right away. I even pointed her out to The Brit. “She doesn’t seem all that sexy.” he said. “She was a hell of a dancer I thought. It has something to do with her movements. She just doesn’t hit you in the face with sex.”
“True but even so I bet she is a popular dancer. She has enough rhythm and she has one hell of a body.” Her problem was she looked bored to tears. “I can’t believe that the mood of this place doesn’t influence her dance. It obviously doesn’t. She doesn’t seem to know that she is an exotic dancer.”
“What can I get you,” the bartender asked breaking into our observations.
“Two of whatever you got on draft is fine,” I said in my best attempt at a gravely voice.
I put a five dollar bill on the bar and he returned and said, “That is six buck. The are three bucks each.”
“Sorry, I had no idea that the entertainment was that good,” I said.
“That black girl has a hell of a body, but she isn’t very enthusiastic,” The Brit said.
“Whatever,” the bartender said.
“Is she new or something,” he asked.
“She’s been here a couple of months,” he said and walked on to one of the other customers buying drinks for a dancer on break.
“Sounds like she is legit. Two months for a sleeper is fine, if she is a spy. That ain’t what we have to worry about. When the people in Miami send someone, it will be job specific,” I said.
“I would have to agree with that, besides this is a shitty cover job for a specific female target,” The Brit said. “But I have to admit the dancing grows on me.”
Her set seemed to finish a few minutes later. She walked to one of the tables first then to the bar. “Do you also wait tables?” I asked her. I did it mostly to get her attention.
“Well Sylvia you look all butch and shit tonight. Is that just for me?” she asked.
“I do this look now and then, even when I’m not meeting big beautiful black women,” I said.
“Well I have to admit you do it wall?” So this Brit guy with you. What up with him?”
“You can actually ask me yourself dear,” The Brit said.
“Okay Brit, you screwin’ Sylvia?” She asked. “Is that why she look like a sissy guy?”
“Well I have been known to have a fling with Sylvia, but that’s not why she is dressed like that tonight. I think it was so she could stand at the bar without being hit on by every Tom Dick and Harry,” The Brit said.
“I see, so am I going to be the filling in a guy and girl sandwich?” she asked sarcastically.
“No sweetie, I just came to see you dance,” I said. Frankly I wasn’t impressed you just look bored.”
“So you could do better?” she asked.
“I sure as hell couldn’t do worse,” I replied.
“Does it count that I don’t believe you bitch,” she said.
“Who you calling bitch, bitch?” I asked.
“You are so full of bullshit,” she said with a smile.
“Even with my skinny little body, I can dance sexier than that,” I said laughing at Kara.
“Well, so far all you can prove by me is you are full of crap,” she said.
“Fuck it,” I said as I headed to the ladies room. Once inside I took off the parka the shoulder rig and my cargo pants full of weapons. I was in the tee shirt bikini panties and stretch bra.
When I got back to the bar I said, “Go tell you boss he has a free dancer tonight.” I waited with The Brit, I could tell the guys still weren’t quite sure who I was.
It wasn’t for a few minute that Kara returned, when she did come back she said, “Go for it slut.”
“Right,” I said as I went to the stage and started to dance to the hard driving music. I took off the tee shirt to the beat of the music. I even removed the elastic sports bra that flattened my boobs. Without it I had small breast but they were definitely boobs. I danced and swayed my hips.
Thats when I heard the man in the front row say, “He is a guy on hormones.” and laugh. I took off the panties I wore and showed him the stubble on my mound. I let him get a really close look before I went back to dance on the pole. I felt as sexy as I looked I’m sure. I really was getting wound up. I looked to the bar and saw Kara touching The Brit with one hand and herself with the other.
All over the bar people were breathing through their mouths. I actually enjoyed the effect I had on the customers. I even enjoyed see Kara rubbing The Brit though his trousers. She looked as though she were enjoying it as well. I waited until the song ended, before I picked up my clothes and went to the bathroom to dress. The Brit was safeguarding my parka and pants. They held the deadly weapons, as the saying goes.
“So do you see how it is done,” I asked with a smile.
“I don’t really enjoy men looking at me, you obviously do.” she said.
“You ought to consider a job at Walmart then,” I suggested.
“I might not have much talent but I got a hell of a lot better body than you honey,” she said her voice bordering on nasty.
“You will get no argument from me on either score. If you had my talent or I had your body one of us could get rich dancing.” I laughed at her.
“I do okay,” she said.
“I’m sure you do,” The Brit said.
“Yeah like I was doing for you honey. I get twenty bucks for a hand job and a hundred for a blow job,” she said.
“I can imagine there is a lot of demand for those from you,” I said.
“Yeah and to think you got one for free Sylvia,” she said.
“Imagine that I charged for mine as well. Then we would be even and you won’t have to feel so bad.” I said.
“You two about through playing whose is bigger,” The Brit asked.
“No contest there, hers are,” I said.
“Even though you don’t think much of my act I have another set to do. Are you two going to hang out till I’m through.” she asked.
“Why not,” I replied. The Brit didn’t look happy but I figure it was my turn to get what I wanted. While we waited several guy came to offer me a drink. I turned them all down. I was driving after all.
An especially sleazy looking man approached me. “I own this place. I think you got some good moves. Are you looking for a job dancing.”
“No, and I don’t give blow jobs for money, and if I did, you couldn’t afford me,” I said.
“Don’t get so snippy Miss. I own this place and I’ll throw you out,” he said.
“You gonna do it yourself?” I asked. “Or have one of your bouncers do it.”
“Oh I think I could do it myself,” he said.
“I sure hope you have good insurance, and if you do I hope you try it.” I said.
“Sylvia, you have bagged your limit for the month,” The Brit said. “You go on to the car and I’ll tell Kara to come out and we will buy her breakfast.”
“You must be living right,” I said to the sleazy manager as I passed him. I really wanted to shank him. Maybe nail his hand to the bar with one of those driveway spikes. That always look like so much fun in the movies.
I went out to the car and started it so the heater would run. It was definitely past chilled. It had reached downright cold. I waited about ten minutes until The Brit showed up. “So what’s the deal?”
“She said to go on to the restaurant. She will meet us there. She has to get her car out of the parking lot after work. She probably doesn’t want to have to drive from this parking lot later tonight,” the Brit suggested.
“Sounds about right I guess,” I agreed. So the Brit and I drove to the all night waffle house restaurant for coffee while we waited.
We actually had two cups each before she showed up. When she did come in, she looked more like the mall walker than a dancer. “Well hello not so tiny dancer,” I greeted her.
“Hello Tiny person, I have no real idea what you do,” she said.
“I shop,” I said. “I guess that’s what going to actions is really just shopping. I’m pretty good at it I think.
“So you buy things at auction and resell them on ebay or something?” she asked.
“Something like that yes,” I said. “I also do an odd job now and then.”
“So how odd are the jobs?” she asked.
“They are pretty odd at times,” I admitted. “But that’s boring talking about me. So how was school today?”
“School was fine,” she said staring at The Brit.
“Are you gay?” she asked.
“Yes,” he said.
“Actually he is bisexual,” I suggested.
“Leaning more to the gay side,” he said. He looked at me a little less friendly than usual. I wondered, if I had crossed some line. I sure hoped not, but I had only told the truth. I had never told Jeremy and never would.
After an hour of eating I asked, “So you coming home with me?”
“No I’m not, thanks anyway.” she said. “I’m leaving early tomorrow going home.”
“Oh okay, well thanks for meeting us for breakfast,” I said.
“Yeah thanks,” The Brit said. “I guess it was nice to meet you.”
I turned to The Brit, “You about ready to go home?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he said.