Jeremy was working on the catered meal. “We were calling it a counter rally. A political rally with barbecue and no politics. It was a hell of an idea, even if it was mine.
While he did that I went back to thinking about a new car of some kind. The cruiser really was breaking down a bunch, and that meant a tow bill just about every time. Fortunately the breakdown had been during daylight and in area’s with cell phone coverage. I was worried that it might not always be so cooperative.
I went into the bank to order a new debit card because mine was hard for the machines to read sometimes. Ir had banged around in my jeans pockets, because I didn’t do well carrying a purse. Carrying shit in my fatigues was a habit I learned in the Air Force, and I never broke it. Airmen in flight suits or fatigues didn’t have room for a purse in their life.
Anyway while I was there I mentioned to the woman that I was looking for a replacement for my cruiser. She told me about the bank repossession and their off lease cars. They sold them after only two years use by the bank executive. They were sold early to get the maximum return on their investment. According to her there were some good deals. All I had to do was drive down, bid on one, and get it home.
I convinced The Brit to wake up early and ride down with me to the bank auction. It was actually held once a month and ten banks participated in it. They let the buyer begin kicking the tires at 8AM and started selling them at 9AM.
There was one of those tiny Ford Pick up trucks in the line waiting to be picked up and driven through the auction. It had to be a repossession the bucket seats had been recovered in a cowhide that still had the hair on it. There was a lot of what I would call cowboy custom work on it.
It had twenty five thousand miles on it. I would have checked the oil, but I was pretty sure the people who got it ready for the sale would have changed all that and made it look well maintained. I got in and started the truck and the gauges all worked and didn’t show any problems. Best of all there were five of them in the row of trucks. None of the others had the custom interior but that might not add anything to the sale price of the truck. The all seemed to be between 25 and 30K miles.
They took one of the other trucks first and it went for $18,200. I had checked in on the smart cell phone and found it to pretty close to retail. There sure wasn’t much room for markup. Full retail with the factory extras might be 25,000 or a little more.
So when the ranger I was interested in came to the block I said to The Brit,”For God sake stop me at 18,500. The auction didn’t have any drama. They started the bidding at 10k and it went to $13,500 where I bought it. I was a little shocked till I though about it the others were off lease bank owned. I was buying a truck with a lot more possibilities for problems. I was willing to take a chance on it, while I still had the cruiser.
Brit followed me home in the cruiser, after I paid my fees and picked up the title. I stopped and filled it up with gas, then drove the truck home. It handled beautifully and the son of a bitch was a bright red. By god they would know me when I drove around town. I didn’t mind drawing attention to myself since I wasn’t making or transporting moonshine any more. It was a fun little truck to drive.
For the next four days nothing happened. Sure I drove my new truck around town. I rode my bike and I transported merchandise to the post office for Jeremy but it was really boring shit. I really needed something to occupy my mind. I guess I got it when Webster took to the airway.
“I do acknowledge that my opponent told the truth at the first town meeting. She just didn’t tell it all. Sylvia Porter made a pornographic film, so vile I wouldn’t show it to anyone.” There were other accusations, but that one was going to do the most damage in a heavily evangelical Christian area. I decided if that hurt me beyond repair, so be it. I wouldn’t lie or scheme to win a rinky dink election.
When the news crew caught up to me at the Barbecue, I was ready for them. “Well Debbie, I wonder if Chief Deputy Webster just happen to find that film while he was perusing the web for porn, cause that’s the only place you could find the film. I think it’s been taken down now. I really don’t know, since I don’t look at porn.
So why did I make it, you ask? Let’s say you are me and you were introduced to a drug dealer for the first time, and you are looking down the barrel of a cheap 9mm pistol.
He says to you, “How do I know you ain’t a cop.”
I don’t know about you but it was sure nice to say, “You got a computer?” Then send him to that sight. Then ask, “You know any cops that could do that? You know what, It must have worked I’m still alive.”
“So you are saying you did it for the job?” she asked.
“No, I’m saying I did it for my cover. It was my decision nobody asked me to do it. They also tell me it was a pretty good porn film.” I said. “Now if you would like there is barbecue over on the buffet. I would rather it go to someone who is hungry, but you are welcome to it if you want to take it.” I turned and walked away ignoring her questions. I stood behind the table and as the people came in I filled Styrofoam cups with coleslaw. I heard a lot of people say they were going to vote for me and I heard a lot of them just say thanks for the food. I was more than happy to shake hands with all of them.
The servers were Jeremy, The Brit and me. It was a lot of fun even with that rotten TV bitch and her questions. When it was over the restaurant came and took the pots and pans away. There was no food left. We had to turn people away and I was sorry for that. We did have another 100 hot dogs for those who really were hungry. I was satisfied that we had done a good thing, even if I lost the primary election.
Then it was back to boredom, but I did get a call from a national news network. One of those cable things. They had picked the story up and wanted a quote. I gave them the same bullshit story that I gave the local news slut. They said they had found the video. The talked like there was only one. There was definitely one Mary Ellen left on the site the longest. I had no idea which one they found.
“So the Chief Deputy thought you explanation was laughable,” the voice on the phone said.
“And he would know, because he has never been undercover,” I said. “I have nothing else to say. I don’t regret doing whatever it took to keep a cover in place and me alive. Sorry he probably would have prefer that I get killed.” Now I’m through talking.
“One more question, what are you going to do, if you are elected sheriff and your deputy arrests an undocumented alien for a traffic violation.” he asked.
“I’m going to take them to the local immigration office and hand them over to an agent. If they choose to release them, I’m going to file a lawsuit and see just how legal it is to ignore a law that is on the books. I think we all take an oath to enforced the laws equally and with disregard to politics. It has nothing to do with politics, it has to do with the law. If the people of this country want to change the law, I’m good with that. If they want to leave it, then we will enforce it. If we don’t have to enforce that law, then there are plenty of laws on the books I don’t agree with, we can ignore as well.”
“You know that kind of talk isn’t going to make you any friends in the civil right community?” he said
“Mike, I’m not running for Sheriff of the Civil Rights Community. I’m running for Sheriff of Warren County. Now I have said all I have to say.”
I broke the connection and turned the phone off. I decided that I had said all I was ever going to say about the video. From now on it was about the job, and nothing else.
There were a few things that were bad about the department and they got pointed out by some of the other candidates. I found Debbie the news slut waiting for me at Hardee’s at seven thirty one morning the next week.
“Silvia, I need a comment from you one the charges by Alvin Ross about the Sheriff’s office.” she said.
“Alice I have nothing to say, but if you would like I’ll buy you a cup of coffee, since you came all this way.” I suggested.
“Come on surely you want a chance to fight back after you were slandered, so many times in the press about the videos.” she asked.
“You mean the remarks you ran for days, till you get every ounce of press from them. Look the sheriff’s office can use some improvements. Some of them are going to take money, we don’t have. Others can be done for almost nothing. I will look at which ones we can fix, and fix them. That’s my statement.” I said.
I got invited to speak several places, and always the cameras were present. “You know this election is getting more press, than any before or any the will come later,” Jeremy said.
“The chief deputy really opened Pandora’s box with that porno thing. It will either bury my ass, or give me a nice lift. Just depends on how many people take their Christian morality into the ballot box. You know, if we win the primary, we have a really good shot. The democratic party has won ever election held here for thirty years.” I said.
“Well if anybody can break there streak it’s you,” He said then laughed.
“Bitch,” I said.
“Porn slut,” he said and we both laughed. “By the way, can you teach me how to do that thing with it down your throat?”
“Nothing to it, you just imagine that it’s a chicken leg.” I said very seriously.
“Chicken leg my ass,” he said “But it did look a little like an animal.”
“Jeremy, don’t say that where anyone else can hear you it’s kind of racist.” I said and laughed again. What really surprised me is that none of my old moonshine customers came forward. They might be thinking they could black mail me to get a pass. Hell as far as I was concerned, if they caused me no trouble, I would not be out to bust their asses. If they did cause trouble, no matter what they had to say about me, they were going to be treated like anyone else.