Sheriff Porter 33
I awoke the next Morning with the smell of her all over me. I hated the thoughts of a shower, so even though I knew better I took Dog and went for a ride on my trike. He and I did about an hour on the thing. It was so hard to pedal up hills that it was as strenuous as running. Well it did give me a chance to rest during the downhill run. Dog couldn’t but he had learned to run along beside and not to pull me. If he kept that up, we could do two hours, I thought.
We stopped at Hardee’s and I bought three biscuits. The one cup coffee maker would get a work out this day, I thought. When we got to the house Wendy was still in bed.
“It’s time to get your butt out of bed Dog is hungry,” I said.
“I was just pretending to sleep, so you wouldn’t force me to take part in the self flagellation you call exercise. So did you bring me your heart attack on a bun breakfast?” she asked.
“Bacon, egg and cheese on a greasy biscuit, what’s so awful about that?” I asked.
“You have a great body, and flabby arteries,” she said.
“Probably some truth to that,” I agreed. “Regardless you wanted to see a day in my life not yours.”
“Alright but I refuse to eat before I take a shower. You do not smell like roses either,” she informed me.
“Wow and you do?” I asked.
“You know I smell better than you do. Now how about a shower before we eat for both of us. As a matter of fact that dog could use one as well,” Wendy said.
“Now I know why Dog doesn’t trust you. He sensed that you are an odorphobe.” I turned my attention to Dog. “I’ll defend you Dog and I’m the one with a weapon.”
“I won’t be long. If you had a larger shower, we could do this together,” she commented.
“We still could if you weren’t such a clean freak,” I said. After she got in the shower I got her camera and queued it to film her stepping from the shower naked. I already knew that her body wasn’t perfect, but it was nice enough for me.
“You are such a bitch, “ she said when she saw me with the camera. She took if from me and pushed a few buttons and the images were gone from the camera but remained in my mind. “Now get your smelly ass in that shower.”
I took a quick but thorough shower in five minutes. I was just as clean as she was after fifteen. I did have the advantage of my terrible butch haircut. I still had that androgynous look going. I imagined I was stuck with it. Someday I might let my hair grow out to a couple of inches but certainly no more.
She at least had a cup of coffee waiting for me. I ate in my panties. I didn’t even bother with a bra. There were two good reasons for it. I wasn’t worried about sag and I kind of like the idea.
Unlike me Wendy was in her shorts and sweatshirt with the arms hacked off and the State University Logo on it. She was adorable wet hair and all.
“God this is good. Why are all the things that kill you the ones that taste good, and the ones good for you taste like grass,” she said.
“Some of them taste like cardboard,” I suggested.
“True, so what is today’s project?” Wendy asked.
“I don’t know about you but for me it just another day at the office,” I suggested. We have to stop by the Hardee’s again. This time for take out. After I dressed we went by the Hardee’s for one more biscuit and three take out coffees.
“Trust me we are going to need the coffee. Cop coffee is pretty awful in the morning,” I explained to Wendy.
“Surely you aren’t eating that biscuit?” she asked.
“No, it’s payment for something I need,” I said.
When we parked the truck in the parking lot Dog finally got out of Wendy’s lap. “God that dog is like having a baby,” she said.
“Hey be glad he likes you. It would have been over with us, if he didn’t,” I said.
“You are serious?” she asked.
“Be glad neither of us had to find out,” I said.
First stop was Wilson. “Wilson this is Wendy. She is a reporter so be careful what you say. Wendy this is Wilson, he is our forensic expert,” I suggested.
“I have seen you on TV. It’s a real pleasure meeting you,” he said.
“Well thank you. The Sheriff must really think of lot of you to bring you breakfast?” she asked.
“Or she wants something, so what is it Sheriff?” he asked.
“I want you to call down and see what is holding up that tox screen on the man our deputy put his hands on,” I said. The implication was to tell me when Wendy wasn’t present.
“I can do that Sheriff they owe me a favor or two. It would be easier, if we could carry them biscuits in the morning,” he said.
“That would be a bribe, but it is a good idea,” I said. “Maybe a catfish sandwich from that Seafood place in Dobson.”
“You mean the one the board of health shut down last year?” he asked. I nodded. “I didn’t know they had reopened.”
“The bacteria in the water turned out to be a dead animal in the well. They got it out and cleaned the place up enough to pass health inspection,” I said. “There are some good things about being Sheriff. You get to hear all the dirt, even if it isn’t about things in your county.”
“Give me a call when you hear,” I said. Wendy and I went to my office.
“You do remember Mrs. West?” I asked.
“Oh course, how are you Mrs. West.” she said.
“You have done something different with your hair,” Mrs. West commented.
“Not really, the motel didn’t have a hair dryer and I forgot mine so I towel dried it today. Not much I can do with damp hair,” Wendy said. Mrs. West just shook her head.
“Mrs. West, Wendy here is going to be hanging around today. She wants to see what I do,” I said.
“Well I do hope you won’t shoot anyone today,” she said.
“I will try to call you, if anyone needs shooting,” I said to her with a smile.
“I get the impression she doesn’t like me,” Wendy said.
“Everyone hates a reporter, and she is immune to your charms,” I explained.
“Well, if she gets a pair of scissors will you keep her away from me?” Wendy asked.
“Worried about you hair are you,” I asked.
“No my life,” Wendy said with a laugh. “You do know she is jealous.”
“Hardly,” I replied.
Before I could explain Wendy added. “It doesn’t have to be sexual. She owns you in this space. She doesn’t realize it, but she doesn’t want to lose that part of her identity.”
“You really are something. A first class lover, a second class reporter, and now a third class shrink,” I said. I didn’t realize how much it was going to piss her off.
“Then why the hell are you going along?” she asked.
“Like I said, you are a first class lover,” I repeated.
“If that’s all there is to this then I should go,” she said.
“That my dear is up to you,” I replied. “If you would like to wait till after lunch I will take you to the pub and introduce you to The Brit and his friend Jeremy.”
“As much as you piss me off, I would like to meet The Brit in a non adversarial setting. Nobody seems to know much about him,” she said.
“Well your twenty four hours end at 6 PM,” I said.
“So you are counting the minutes till my time is finished?” she asked.
“Of course I am,” I answered.
“Okay then I’ll stay, but it isn’t because of you. You are a bitch, but you are a great lover as well,” she said.
“Well it’s almost lunch time, so let’s go to Reggie’s and I can beat up the bag,” I said.
As luck would have it Osborn was there. “The combination Oz. Hit him with the combination,” Reggie said.
“How’s she doing?” I asked.
“She works hard, but she is no boxer,” he said.
“Will she defend herself in the street?” I asked.
“I think she will, but the other guy won’t have to worry about her killing him with her hands,” Reggie said.
I just nodded. I didn’t want to start a conversation about street fighting in front of Wendy. “Is that another woman over there?” I asked.
“Yeah we got two black women joined. One of them said she saw you on TV and she was tired of men threatening her. The other one saw the local TV coverage of Oz telling them how she lost weight and loved the smell of the gym. Do me a favor Sheriff, try to explain to her I don’t want this to become a yuppie place,” Reggie said.
“Hell no Reggie, you tell her yourself. I think it would be cool to have a vending machine with three different brands of water in it,” I said with a laugh.
I beat the bag senseless until suddenly there was Wendy by my side. She was hitting a bag beside mine. “I paid ten bucks for a guest membership,” she said. “Reggie loaned me the gloves.”
“I’ll have to talk to him,” I said. “Tells me he doesn’t want yuppies and he lets you work out.” I did smile after I said it. Wendy and I punched the bags for an hour while Osborn watched. When our time was up, the three of us went to the parking lot.
“Well I have to go get dressed for work,” Osborn said. “It was nice to meet you Wendy,” Osborn said.
“What the fuck is it with you Sylvia. Are you trying to convert the whole world to lesbianism?” Wendy asked.
“Wendy, there is nothing between Osborn and I,” I said.
“Oh I know it. She just wishes there was,” Wendy complained.
“Wishin’ don’t make it so, and the only thing I can do is fire her. She does her job extremely well, and she know a lot about computers,” I replied.
“And who introduced her to Reggie?” Wendy asked.
“It was before I had any idea she had a crush thing going,” I replied.
We went back to the box house where I would never have gone in the middle of the day ordinarily but Wendy needed to shower and change. It took us half an hour to get it done. We had Dog with us of course. He had been to the gym as well.
“I think I will leave from your office at six. It looks like you will be there till then,” she said.
“I am most days but I had planned to come home early,” I said.
“No one last screw for you,” Wendy declared with less humor than I would have expected.
When Dog and I entered the Pub, The Brit got the dog jumping all over him. “It’s not you Brit it’s the smells coming from the kitchen,” I said.
“Hey why you wanna burst my bubble. Come on Dog I will find you something. You know you aren’t allowed in the kitchen but you wait right here,” The Brit said as he disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned he said to me, “Not to worry it’s just rice with a little meat and cheese. There is nothing to upset his stomach.”
I nodded then did the introductions. When they were finished, Wendy immediately went to work on The Brit.
Edited by Walt