Sheriff Porter 69
I sat sunning myself on the deck, which was right above Wilson’s bed. I considered playing the radio with hard rock full blast. I hated that if left to his own devices, he could sleep till noon. I would be willing to bet that for the almost two weeks I was gone, he slept till noon every day.
I didn’t have a radio that I could play on the deck, so I couldn’t rag on him. I made a mental note to buy one. I hated to miss an opportunity to rag on Wilson. I ate my biscuit and drank my coffee, while trying to decide where to turn next. It was obvious to me, and probably Wilson, that I was going to investigate the date rapes, which I felt were occurring on Jefferson Island.
It was pretty easy to understand why Jefferson Island Inc would try to cover up such a thing, but it was hard to believe the Carter County Sheriff’s Department would go along. I ran it around in my head over and over and it kept coming up the Sheriff was in on it. If not the crime, at least the cover up. Since that was the case, I decided to leave them till last. If not last at least close to it.
So what would the first move in my little chess game be? I asked myself. How about I start with me. I told Brian ‘no thanks’ on the party with he and Chrissy but they wound up in my bed later that night. Even more strange I went along with them. That left me thinking I might have been drugged.
So Brian couldn’t have been drugging them out on the island. The statistical anomaly exited before he could have been doing it. Maybe he found a source for the drug he would need to know how to use it. So did he get lessons in its use along with the drug? Maybe he just bought the drug and read up on its use off the Internet. He sure as hell had it ready for use on me. He couldn’t have known I would refuse, since I didn’t know till the last minute.
“So, you are finally awake,” I said when Wilson walked onto the deck with a coffee cup in his hand. The coffee cup was filthy. Two days worth of old coffee stains was pretty disgusting.
“Someone is stomping around on my ceiling. Didn’t you know it was Sunday, and you didn’t come home last night.” he said with at least a smile.
“Didn’t you know that it was Saturday night?” I asked. If I had been a teenage girl I would have giggled. After giving him a chance to drink some of his coffee I asked. “Can you do me a complete work up on Chrissy’s friend Brian? That’s all I know about him.”
“I can get the rest from Chrissy’s mother. He won’t be hard to run down. You think he is involved in the drugs and rape? You know he isn’t anywhere near old enough,” Wilson said.
“And no where near smart enough, but he could dose someone. You know monkey see monkey do,” I suggested.
“Yeah that’s possible. He could have picked the drugs up from someone with instructions included,” Wilson admitted.
“I’m going to want the name of the girl who made the most noise or whatever that got her the most attention. I need to talk to someone, before I go up against the powers that be,” I suggested. “You know this could be a Jefferson Island problem. Brian might have used that crap on me in New Wales just as a special case.”
“Are you sure you weren’t just drunk?” Wilson asked. “You did have a lot to drink.”
“Wilson I have been drunk more than a few times, and things never went down like that,” I said.
“Well, is there any reason this can’t wait till tomorrow. This is my day off unless it is an emergency,” he said.
“It can wait, so what are you planning for today?” I asked.
“Margo and I are going fishing,” Wilson said.
“Oh deep sea fishing?” I asked.
“No, we are going up the river. She has a river fishing boat. I told her she could launch here, you don’t mind do you?” he asked.
“Long as you are getting something in trade,” I suggested.
“Everything is about sex with you isn’t it?” he asked.
“Oh and it’s not, says the man who was screwing the mother and daughter from the B&B?” I asked.
“Are you never going to forget that? I was just fulfilling a male fantasy,” he said. “Any other man would have done it given the chance.”
“No I’m not going to get past it. That was just being a pig,” I said with a laugh.
“Never mind, I’ll have your info tomorrow,” he said. “I sure wish you had brought me some breakfast I’m going to have to go out now for something.”
“There is probably some cereal or a bagel around here somewhere,” I suggested.
“Milk all went bad, while you were gone. Bagels taste like cardboard,” Wilson said. “I’m going down to Mr. BJ’s.”
“Okay, well I’m going to check my mail and stuff,” I said. The mechanic at the Hanford Air Service had a small light plane he wanted me to see. I emailed him back and said I was getting involved in something at the moment, but if it were available I would be glad to take a look in a few days.
By the time Wilson came back, I was busy checking with several of the adult chatrooms, the ones I had spent some time in over the last month or so. They were mostly my usual but one or two were new ones. Well they were new to me anyway.
“Sylvia, would you like to go with us today. I think Margo would like it if you did. She is awful butch you know,” he said. I think she might be an older version of you. Willing to try anything.”
“No thanks Wilson, I’m going to take a long shower and maybe crawl into bed alone,” I said.
What I actually did is make more coffee, while I sat in the deck chair getting in touch with my body. When I squirmed my butt hurt, when I sat still I had this nagging urge to move my bowels. I also had stuff seeping out of both my holes. I don’t men shit, I mean slippery semen. Finally I could stand it no longer.
I went to the bathroom with one of my towels. I tried sitting on the toilet, nothing. I tried taking a shower and inserting the corner of a wash cloth in the leaking orifices. I found out an hour later that it had been a waste of time. Still at the time I toweled my body and my hair dry, I didn’t know that it was a waste so it felt pretty good.
I put on one of the pairs of tailored baggy pants and a short sleeve OD green tee shirt. Since I wasn’t going to wear the jacket, I made sure the derringer was in the wallet style holster and in the rear pocket of the tailored baggy pants.
I even added a baseball cap like the ones I had worn at County Seat, but the one this morning didn’t say Sheriff. It said nothing at all as a matter of fact. I would like to get my hands on a cap with the local New Wales high school Baseball team’s insignia on it.
I was back on the deck drinking a glass of my chemical mix, that passed for Iced Tea. The shit was probably Eye of Newt and all kind of other evil shit, but it sort of tasted like Iced tea. I had bought a bag of ice from the vending machine on the boat dock.
I literally had to walk the plank to get that ice. The barge was moored a few feet from the dock for safety reasons. I was never sure what those reasons really were, but there I was with a 12″ wide and 12′ long wooden walkway. One end lay on the barge, and the other lay on the dock.
I had the whole bag of ice to myself, since Wilson wasn’t there to drink Iced Tea.
“You know you can afford to have a gallon of good Iced Tea delivered from the best restaurant in town every day. You don’t have to drink this shit that is probably mummifying your kidneys,” Wilson said. He said it every time I brought the milk jug filled with chemical Iced Tea outside.
“Wilson leave me the fuck alone or I’ll fire you,” I usually replied.
“You know that used to work, but in the month I have been here you have threatened to fire me at least once a day, every day,” he stated boldly.
Without Wilson hanging around, I planned to drink my tea while eating my peanut butter and banana sandwich with mayonnaise. I also bought a bag of chips from the vending machine. I was probably going to need to ride the trike into town before bedtime to work off the calories. I almost fell asleep wearing the bikini. I was rescued from the 2nd degree burns by a voice.
“Ahoy there on the barge,” the male voice said. I looked over the rail to see EZ standing on the dock. He was wearing baggy shorts and a tee shirt.
“Come aboard,” I said. I also went into the living room to put on the tee and baggy pants. I was about to take scissors to those pants. I looked at EZ and knew I didn’t have near enough shorts for this lifestyle.
“So what can I do for you EZ?” I asked.
“I was just came down to put a sign on one of your tenant’s boat,” he said.
“Oh really, and who isn’t paying their slip rent?” I asked.
“It’s worse than that. The knucklehead is sleeping on the boat. His wife threw his ass out, and he has nowhere else to go. He is crapping in the porta-potty in the parking lot I guess.”
“Well he could be doing it over the side of the boat I guess,” I said with a smile. “So how has life been treating my eviction specialist?”
“Now, you know we prefer special management. By the way thanks for the job. I know you and my uncle have had a falling out. I also know you saved his ass and still recommend him, when people call about the barge houses. He is too stubborn to say thank you, but I’m not.”
“Good for you, and I only tell the truth about the barge house. I’m not giving him a recommendation, I just tell everyone how pleased I am with the barge container house and who built it. That’s a far cry from a recommendation,” I explained.
“So you want to go to a fish fry. It’s not a date it’s dinner. I got to eat, you got to eat and there is no reason for us to do it alone,” he said.
“EZ you are a great looking young man. You have the body of a Marine just out of boot camp.” I did not add that I had recent experience with it. “and a face like a movie star. Honey if you are going out with me, it won’t be just for the company.”
“Can’t I just like you for who you are?” he asked.
“Sure you could, but I really don’t believe that is the case. I really believe you want to pitch me on something,” I said.
“Did my uncle tell you I have had some run ins with the law?” he asked.
“He might have mentioned it. I really don’t remember it, if he did. What kind of run ins?” I asked.
“A couple of bar fights. I was married once, but she wasn’t. I tried to beat up every knucklehead she screwed, but I didn’t have enough time,” he explained.
“You do know that I can check all this out,” I said.
“Yeah, I have been talking to Wilson when I come down to check the place out. He said you were a private investigator now,” EZ said.
“It isn’t glamorous like on TV,” I said. “But do go on.”
Edited by Walt